


No Matter What

by goosebxrry



Category: Hermitcraft RPF
Genre: Its a vent, M/M, Well not really, i guess its sort of a vent but like the other way around?, i mean i call my friends beautiful as a compliment and in his situation?, xisuma had self esteem issues bc of stridersuma, yeah - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-15
Updated: 2020-08-15
Packaged: 2021-03-06 07:40:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,201
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25909765
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/goosebxrry/pseuds/goosebxrry
Summary: xisuma’s sick and tired of everyone calling him ugly, and he breaks in front of joebut it seems like things will finally be getting better now.
Relationships: its romantic if you reaaalllllyyy squint, xisuma & joe hills
Comments: 12
Kudos: 105





	No Matter What

**Author's Note:**

> ...i should probably quit rambling in the tags. reflexive from tumblr lol
> 
> anyway! i wrote this in like thirty minutes, apologies for any mistakes.
> 
> if you decide to read this as ship, make sure you acknowledge that i only ship the mc personas, not the folks behind the screen. thx!

Xisuma was just about at his limit.

He didn’t choose each new mob, he had no say in the matter whatsoever. The bee had been lovely, he’d very much enjoyed it! He liked flying with so much control and having the ability to buzz (despite it not having any use at all) and the colour scheme looked lovely.

He’d really been expecting— and hoping —to keep it for just a little longer.

But no, the universe was cruel. Along with the Nether’s transformation, he changed with it, and now? A strider. A strider, of all things. He looked ridiculous, not to mention, it didn’t have features anywhere near as useful! No extra flight control like Beesuma, no larger lung capacity like Turtlesuma.

All he got was the ability to touch semi-hot things, like flames. He still died in lava, and when was he going to find random fires in the Overworld? It was useless if he wasn’t in the Nether— which was now the only place he didn’t shiver and shake uncontrollably, making even the simplest of tasks far too complicated.

And sure, he didn’t look great, either. But that was just an extra kick in the throat. He was okay with how he looked until just about every hermit had their go at making fun at him, laughing at how weird he looked.

It was truely awful.

Sometimes, he was tempted to just use admin commands to reset his skin, but he feared the possible consequences of that more than he hated the new skin itself. So, he dealt with it.

He dealt with every hermit thinking, knowing, he was ugly. And being extra verbal about it, to his face, and possibly even behind his back.

Sure, it was just an overmilked joke, but did it feel like that?

Absolutely not.

“Howdy, Xisuma!” X slowed down as he walked down his Nether tunnel, the hub not fully completed yet, turning to see the owner of the easily recognizable voice. Joe smiled at him in the most friendly of manners.

Xisuma remembered the last time he and Joe had met in his hallway; he was passing through, checking if his portals synced up properly, and had accidentally run into the latter.

Joe had backed away, surprised and semi-shocked, most likely mistaking him for some new 1.16 mob— and, although Xisuma had only caught a snippet of what Joe had said, he knew he’d been called hideous. And probably worse.

Xisuma forced a smile, despite it being hidden by his helmet. Joe seemed to always know when something was off, he might as well try to hide it. Nobody needed more drama right now, and he didn’t need Joe worried about him.

“Hey, Joe. Do you need something?”

Joe seemed to falter a little, probably surprised by Xisuma’s cold tone of voice. X didn’t bother to correct it, he couldn’t bring himself to care enough. Maybe he was just tired— part of him didn’t want to admit that he was, truely, deeply, hurt by what had been going around.

“...No, nothing in particular comes to mind. I just wanted to say hello.” Joe replied cautiously. “Is everything up to the mark? You look a little upset.”

Xisuma grit his teeth and nodded.

Why was he acting like this? This wasn’t like him! He was overreacting, it was just a joke. It was fine. He didn’t need to blow it all out of proportion, he should just... let his hermits have their fun.

He jumped at the sensation of a hand gently resting on his arm, and looked down to meet Joes eyes, an unspoken question hanging in the air between them that they both understood perfectly.

Was he really okay?

Xisuma’s brain sent a gentle reminded to stay calm, not to blow up. He was, in reality, angry, and upset at Joe among others, but he didn’t need to cause any unnecessary trouble.

Yet the overwhelming majority of his brain, composed of sporadic feelings and emotions, screamed at him to just tell Joe what he really felt. Yell him the truth, no sugarcoating, no beating around the bush.

That part won.

“No! It’s not fine!” He snarled, ripping his arm away from a wide-eyed Joe. “Nothing’s fine! Everyone thinks I look disgusting, I think I look disgusting, and who knows how long I’ll stay like this? I can’t comfortably live in the Overworld and I can’t safely live in the Nether, the End was the only place I ever felt at ease and now that’s completely off limits for my stupid bloody lungs!” Xisuma shouted, eyes stinging.

“Nobody likes me, I can’t stand it...” He trailed off with a sob, leaning against the portal frame just behind him and sliding downwards. He ignored the sickening sound of obsidian scraping netherite reinforced armour, burying his face into his knees.

He didn’t care that Joe was still right there, watching him snap and shatter. He would probably leave any moment now, let Xisuma come down from his tantrum on his own, go tell the other hermits how immature their admin was being.

But instead, he was softly instructed to open his eyes.

Hesitantly, he did as he was told. His coal-black eyes met Joe’s.

“...Xisuma, I am so sorry.” ...Did his voice crack?

“We didn’t realize we were hurting you when we said those awful, awful, things, and in retrospect, I should’ve seen the consequences my actions had.” He continued, landing a calloused hand on each of his shoulders. “We don’t dislike you, X. We all love you, so much. You’re part of this family, and you do so much for each and every one of us.”

He stifled another sob, unable to reach his face through the visor to wipe away the pre-existing tear tracks. 

“And, Xisuma?”

He looked back up from wherever his gaze had landed, waiting for whatever Joe had intended to say.

“You look beautiful, no matter what mob you take the form of. You might now see it anymore, but I do.” He sighed, looking down and finishing with a final piece to his sentence. “Don’t forget that. I’m deeply sorry we ever caused you to.”

He nodded slowly, trying to take Joe’s words to heart.

They sat together for a few more minutes, mostly in silence, but the comfortable kind. The kind shared between two friends.

“Here, this can’t be very comfortable.” Joe said, standing up and extending a hand for Xisuma to take. “Would you like to go back to your base?”

He blinked, nodding slowly once more as he accepted the help and stood. His visor was slightly blurry from the tears that had managed to splash onto it, but other than that, he was ready to return to his real home.

They stepped through the portal at the same time, landing back in the Jungle Xisuma called home.

From then on, if any hermit dared poke fun at Xisuma, they would face Joe and Cleo’s combined wrath. Keralis did what he could to keep Xisuma included and, deep down inside, Xisuma began to come to terms with the fact that, no matter what, he had people who were there for him.

No matter what.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks for reading <3, have a lovely morning/evening/night


End file.
